“The power of trust is determined by the giver.” – Joe Caruso
Faith in anything…an outcome, your myth, God, or whatever you place your faith in, will require trust. There are many misconceptions about trust and how it works.
Uncovering Success Strategies – More about Success Strategy # 29
We sometimes work so hard to achieve a particular goal that we forget that success is at least as much about enjoying the process as it is about achievement. Goals are necessary to a successful life. According to the Austrian psychiatrist Wilhelm Reich, all biological organisms build up energy that seeks discharge. This discharge can either be directed or random. Goals create direction for the discharge of energy, thereby providing meaningful structure to our lives. To abandon all goals is to abandon order.
How do you get to the point where you are almost impervious to petty personal attacks—either real or perceived? You have to practice responding rather than reacting with every opportunity. With each successful application you gain a victory over your ego. Each small victory will build upon the next, until this behavior pattern manifests itself and becomes apparent in your character.
Our wise old friend Lao Tzu offers helpful words on how to stay focused and learn to accept and deal with whatever type of person or situation is in front of you.
“We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we’ve already done.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my life is the importance of being undeniable. My father introduced this concept to me when I was in the seventh grade. I was playing in an intramural baseball game and, in a very close play, was called out at second base by the umpire. I thought I was safe and let the umpire know it. My dad, who was watching the game, didn’t like seeing his son argue with an umpire, no matter how briefly.
During the drive home, I complained about how the umpire was “blind” and how I should have been called safe. My dad, very calmly and deliberately, interrupted, “You didn’t deserve it.”
I have to admit I was more than a bit upset that my own father seemed to be taking the side of the ump. I said, “What do you mean I didn’t deserve it? I was safe and he called me out. I was right and he was wrong.”
You might try to deny it, but all of us are guilty of denial in our lives and mostly to our detriment.
Denial is often rooted in fear – fear of facing or accepting some reality – often a reality that brings about unwelcome change. But denial does so much harm to our personal and professional growth and development, and even to our health, that I’d like to take another opportunity to discuss it.
I recently spoke with well-respected psychoanalyst and psychiatrist (and my good friend) Dr. Stefan Pasternack on the subject of denial at the recent American Psychoanalytic Association (APsaA) conference in New York. Stef and I were catching up on our lives, which brought us to a discussion of our health and the health of our loved ones. This prompted Stef to remark on the ability for people with heart disease or high cholesterol to manage their condition rather effectively with prescription drugs, as well as with healthy diet and exercise options. In other words, much of what we know about heart disease now, whether it is hereditary or not, can be managed pretty effectively with a competent doctor and a willing patient.
I’ve spoken before about how, as humans, we have an incredible capacity to get in our own way and as a result, can be guilty of limiting our own potential. I recently came across another story that reminded me of how easy it is to limit our own potential, and to possibly miss out on great things in life and discoveries in and about ourselves.
As you consider your current commitments, how you choose to spend your time, and what you want to do with your remaining time, here’s a story for you.
Last week I was reading a book review of Malcom Gladwell’s new book, David and Goliath. While the reviewer had nice things to say both about the author and his book, he did question some of Gladwell’s past revelations. Specifically, the reviewer brought up Gladwell’s notion that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to create mastery.
I myself have considered this notion in my life. Thirty-six years ago, I committed to a study of life’s simple, common, timeless human truths, not knowing whether it could be possible to master. Many of you who know me and my work know the promise I made at 18 years of age, when I committed to studying five hours per day, five days per week. My studies focused almost exclusively on life and how we live it; and how we as humans perceive life through our own perceptions as well as our interaction with others; it has been the best investment I have ever made. [A portion of my early reading is listed in the appendix of The Power of Losing Control.]
Context: The general that lends meaning to the specific.
Yesterday, USA Today featured an article on Miley Cyrus.
According to the article, which discusses her upcoming promotional documentary, Miley Cyrus has no regrets about the way she’s behaving because her real goal is to make history.
“You want to make history. … Everything’s about what’s going to be the big moment in pop culture.“
Anytime you approach something single-mindedly and resolutely, there will be fall out.
In my commitment to study and learn as much as I could about life before I lost mine, I read a bit of Joseph Campbell.
Campbell understood the power of story, or myth, in how we live our own lives. He studied this through countless cultures and their myths, and had the wisdom and prosaic force to share that knowledge with many individuals through his books and teachings.
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose…”
Those words are from the great Janis Joplin song, “Me and Bobby McGee” (lyrics by Fred L. Foster and Kris Kristofferson).
While most people would agree that this is a nice sentiment, it has very little to do with reality. In reality, the paradox of freedom is that it is directly and proportionally related to responsibility.
Think about it. There’s a name for the group of people who have almost no responsibility — people who go to sleep each night and wake up each day responsible for almost nothing, to almost no one. They’re called prisoners. If you think about it, prisoners have about as much responsibility as they do freedom. The very responsibilities that you and I might see as burdens or pressures aren’t even options for those whose freedom only lies inside guarded walls. (Of course I assume you’re not reading this from prison.)