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Author Archives: Caruso Admin

Love Has Nothing to Do With Being Wanted or Needed – That’s Insecurity

Uncovering Success Strategies – Success Strategy # 24

Know that love has nothing to do with being wanted or needed…that’s insecurity.” –  Joe Caruso

The ultimate relationship does not consist of two people who “need” each other. Whether between two lovers, a parent and a child or a teacher and a student, successful relationships are not and never will be based on need. Need is based in dependency. Dependency on anything other than yourself and your faith is unhealthy. The best thing anyone can do for someone they love is to strive for success and happiness in their own life and to encourage their partner or loved one to do the same. Show me a relationship that is based on need and I’ll show you a relationship that breeds and nurtures insecurity. And, as you know, insecurity is based on fear, and fear is the opposite of love. As insecure and fearful humans, we tend to find comfort in the feeling that someone needs us, or that someone will take care of us, but I must stress that this is an unhealthy basis for a relationship–for both parties.

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Why Egocentricity Is Your Biggest Enemy

Success Strategy # 12 – Realize that egocentricity is your biggest enemy.

We have a tendency to look at the world only in terms of how it affects us directly. This egocentricity is detrimental to our success. The more selfish we are, the less we get out of life. The more we realize we are here to help care for, nurture and support others, the more positive and powerful we can become. Almost all forms of depression are a form of egocentricity and selfishness. You can’t be successful and happy and be egocentric. Egocentricity is a major cause in depression, unhappiness and most other forms of self-destructive behavior.

When the famous psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger was speaking at an event, he was asked what advice he would give to a person on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He was expected to reply, “Consult a psychiatrist.” To the astonishment of all in attendance, he instead replied, “Lock up your house, go across the railroad tracks, find someone in need and do something to help that person.”

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Joe Caruso Keynotes YPO Event

In another of his keynotes, Joe Caruso presented The Power of Losing Control  at a recent exclusive executive cruise (YPO Deep Dive) that took place aboard the cruise ship Silver Whisper. Joe, along with presenters including Elizabeth Smart, Essdras M. Suarez, Mike Song, Davd Marquet and others, had the chance to participate in a magnificent setting with engaged attendees interested in learning about a range of topics, from personal to professional.

Some photos from the event, taken by documentary photographer Essdras M. Suarez (who also runs A La Carte Photojourneys), are below:

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Your Attitude Determines How People Treat You

Uncovering Success Strategies – More About Success Strategy #6

Admit that your thoughts, attitudes, behaviors and actions determine who’s in your life and how they treat you.” — Joe Caruso

Our attitudes about ourselves will determine whom we attract. I know that this is a pretty bold statement, but let’s examine it. Have you ever known someone who left an abusive or unhealthy relationship, only to find himself or herself in another one? It’s not magic. It’s not coincidence. It’s due to the fact that the attitudes these people have about themselves are that they deserve abusive relationships. At the same time, the abuser is actually looking for someone with just this attitude. They attract each other.

How is this so?

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Three ‘Pre-Crisis’ Signs to Look For: Avoid the Cycle of Crisis in Business

Corporations spend billions of dollars each year on books, seminars and consultants in order to advise senior level managers on how to guide their company through critical times. In a 2014 study by Bersin by Deloitte, researchers found that corporate training grew by the highest percent in seven years (15%) to over $70 billion in the US and $130 billion worldwide.*

*Source: The Corporate Learning Factbook 2014: Benchmarks, Trends, and Analysis of the U.S. Training Market, Karen O’Leonard, January 2014. Available at http://www.bersin.com

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The Secret to Mastery? You Can Get There from Here

On one of my earliest trips to Italy in the 1990s, I had the wonderful opportunity to view some of the most beautiful and highly regarded works of art in the world. I was particularly touched by the mastery of Michelangelo.

As I stared in awe at the statue of David, I couldn’t help but remember the story about the woman who approached Michelangelo to compliment his work.

After seeing the beauty, the power and the magnificence of the life-like marble statue of David, she said to the artist, “Your mastery is quite impressive.”

Michelangelo replied simply, “Woman, if you knew how hard I worked for my mastery, you wouldn’t be so impressed.”

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Life is perfect and everything is on schedule

Uncovering Success Strategies – More About Success Strategy #30

Understand that life is perfect, and everything is on schedule.” – Joe Caruso

Life isn’t always what we want it to be. Nonetheless, it is reality. To not see life as perfect is not to accept reality. Someone who doesn’t accept reality is someone who is flirting with insanity. A good gauge of our mental wellness can be how well we’re accepting reality at any point in time.

More often than I’d care to count, I have been delayed by air travel. When I wrote this article, I was sitting on a plane. The plane was sitting at the gate. We were about five minutes away from take-off when the captain informed us that due to crosswinds in Detroit (my destination), our departure would be delayed by two hours. Not a perfect situation. However, it was my reality and I couldn’t change it. Once I accepted the situation, I decided that it would be an excellent opportunity to pull out my laptop and work on my book. Once I started writing I realized that my crazy travel schedule and client commitments had prevented me from having any time to write my book. With upcoming travel and vacations, I wasn’t going to have much time in the coming weeks to write either. What a perfect opportunity to keep my deadline for finishing the next chapter of my book.

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Trust and the Big Lie

The power of trust is determined by the giver.” – Joe Caruso

Faith in anything…an outcome, your myth, God, or whatever you place your faith in, will require trust. There are many misconceptions about trust and how it works.

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Cherish the chase as much as the trophy

Uncovering Success Strategies – More about Success Strategy # 29

Cherish the chase as much as you treasure the trophy.  – Joe Caruso

We sometimes work so hard to achieve a particular goal that we forget that success is at least as much about enjoying the process as it is about achievement. Goals are necessary to a successful life. According to the Austrian psychiatrist Wilhelm Reich, all biological organisms build up energy that seeks discharge. This discharge can either be directed or random. Goals create direction for the discharge of energy, thereby providing meaningful structure to our lives. To abandon all goals is to abandon order.

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The Art of Advising (or Giving Advice)

My job is to advise very smart people, some of whom are at the top of their field in their subject matter expertise. The core of my work is to help them think differently so they can create optimal outcomes for themselves and their organizations. Is there a secret to giving advice?

Through the years I’ve learned that how one advises is at least as important as what one advises. How one advises determines whether or not the recipient hears and considers the advice, and ultimately takes action (changes behavior) based on the advice. Outcomes change only after they have taken action based on the new thinking. This is why merely giving advice (even if you’ve been asked or paid to give it, and even if it is good advice) is not good enough. The advice must be delivered in an effective manner that stimulates new thinking that is so compelling that it creates a change in behavior.

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