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“The genesis of many of our problems is that too many of us are peering into the murky future of our secondary world, hoping that there will be something “out there” to finally make us happy.

But in fact, we ought to be looking inward, because the source of true happiness is always available to us. It lies in how we choose to respond to those external circumstances — in our ability to understand, accept, and manage ourselves. This is what will determine how we go about finding our meaning and what kind of higher meaning we can find for ourselves.”

– Joe Caruso, The Power of Losing Control, Chapter 8

A compelling quote from Agnes Repplier on taking this journey:

Understanding the why behind the what of our own person (our character) is a key step on this journey:

More About Turning our Journey Inward to a Higher Meaning

• Define Yourself! Lessons from the Land of Oz
• Primary and Secondary World (You Only Have Control Over One)
• Three Keys to Success
• Happiness / Success
• Cherish the Chase As Much As You Treasure the Trophy

Or, get the book!

This content is excerpted from Joe Caruo’s best-selling book, The Power of Losing Control, Chapter 8: Cherish the Chase as Much as You Treasure the Trophy. Get the book!

In my work with leadership teams and developing young leadership talent, it is true that those who experience the greatest growth and success are the individuals that commit to the process. A decision without a commitment can often end in less than optimal results or even failure. (More about decision vs. commitment).

Many of my clients are CEOs and senior-level leaders. They live in a world of incredible pressure to reach their goals with market challenges and internal conflicts flying at them at great speed. In this fast-paced business environment, it is easy and even understandable to take a reactive approach. But as all great leaders (and great parents and great teachers) learn, it is always better to respond than react.

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(Context is the general that lends meaning to the specific.)

Sound bites. Headline grabbers. Head-turning quotes. All in the hope that the content goes viral. This is what drives today’s “news”.

While these dramatic, if not misleading headlines might pull eyeballs, turn ears and gain air time with their shock value, they do a huge disservice to those of us trying to find news where we can get facts, figures, as well as interpretation and analysis by an ‘expert’ in the field. [Of course many of us know enough to understand that bias always plays a role, and you must always consider the source…as discussed in my previous article about bias and fact vs. fiction].

In a day and age where Russian bots influence what’s trending, spin gets typed up in 280 characters or less, and the term ‘fake news’ is bandied about when someone doesn’t like what they are hearing, it is refreshing to see reporting that is grounded in fact, understands historical context, and attempts to acknowledge the culture.

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We Seek Happiness, But Happiness, Like Success, is Elusive

Above any other goal, humans seek happiness. Aristotle came to this conclusion more than 2,300 years ago when he reasoned that happiness is sought for its own sake, whereas every other goal – health, wealth, power and others – is only valued because we expect that it will bring us happiness.

While much has changed since Aristotle came to this conclusion, one could argue that we are no closer to understanding and teaching the path to happiness than the ancients. That is Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s argument in a book called Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-hi) states that happiness,

“…is not something that just happens. It is not a result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power can control.  It is, in fact, a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated and defended privately by each person.”

To seek happiness is to grab water. Not only do we feel continually frustrated by our failure, we also feel miserable in the process. Another way to state this: happiness is a byproduct, not an end product.
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“Understand that all of your emotions are based in either fear or love.”
– Joe Caruso, Success Strategy #2

“Know that you can’t experience hatred without also experiencing fear.”
-Joe Caruso, Success Strategy #35

When we understand that all of our emotions stem from either fear or love, we can begin to acknowledge how our insecurities and fears determine how we might respond to people or events in our lives. When we feel hate, or respond with hatred, it is always based in fear. This begs the question – what is it that we fear, and why do we fear it?

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